MY BIKE GOT STOLEN TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

un, dakara annyui
uh. so bored
Eng. to Jap translator

im just in a good mood, lol =)
watch me go tubing:

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Micheal Jackson died on June 25, 2009. In his home. There are rumors going around wit hthe cause of cause of a cardiac arrest. But stilll no one will ever be able to beat his tone of voice and all of his achievments he has gotten in his life. Godbless his 3 children.

RIP
Micheal Jackson
1958-2009

idk wats cool, im just bored

IM IN LOVE, PERIOD
PAIGE
G+P
OMGEEZZZZZZ
CASNT IT OF MY MIND TODAY, OR YESTERDAY, OR THURSDAY, OR WEDNESDAY, OR ANYTIME

ok.... theres this girl at my school i rly rly rly rly rly like...
now my friend pj (playerpj1256) told her, then next period, she giggled and said "pj told me.." and i siad"ya.." and i laughed back. then i couldnt get up enough courage to ask here out, but it seemed like she liked me too, all i need is advice.......
my main fear is rejection and making a fool of myslef. if lost so much credibility over the years, and at skool, im the "fat kid" its just hard and wat rly burns me is next period, my friends were making fun of me cause they thought that she was ugly. AND WAT I DONT GET, IS HOW U AUTO MATICALLY GET THE RIGHT TO MAKE FUN OF THE GIRL U LOVE, RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and thats wat ruined my day, i couldnt think straight, and if i was, i was thinking about her (paige

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Hope u like them ,cause I do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

omg! i just auditioned for a play yesterday, the casting is emailed out tomorrow, im so excited!!!!!!! i cant wait. ill probally get a a big part cause they need older kids, but only littler kids are auditioning!!! the play is Honk Jr. here is the script:
HONK! JR. Script
Page 1 of 38
Scene 1A FARM YARD 1/27
Curtain Closed Spot on
A POULTRY TALE
HER GRACEIN OUR PATCH BEHIND THE FARMHOUSE
L3 WHERE THE PACE OF LIFE IS SLOW
THERE'S A WEBSITE WHERE JUST REAL WEBS ARE USED
WE SPEND DAYS THE WAY DUCKS OUGHTA
EATING BREAD THROWN ON THE WATER
IN A WAY THAT KEEPS THE YOUNGER KIDS AMUSED
IN OUR LAND BOTH GREEN AND PLEASANT
EVERY BANTAM, DUCK AND PHEASANT
IF THEY HAD THEM, WOULD BE WALKING ARM IN ARM
FOR OUR LIFE IS GOOD AND STEADY
TILL WERE PLUCKED AND OVEN READY
IT'S A POULTRY TALE OF FOLK DOWN ON THE FARM
Curtain Open Full lights
THERE'S A TURKEY WITH A GOBBLE
WATCH HIS LEGS BEGIN TO WOBBLE
COS THANKSGIVING GIVES HIM CAUSE FOR SOME ALARM
WE'VE GOT PULLETS WE'VE GOT CHICKENS
WE'VE GOT QUAILS AND WHAT THE DICKENS
ALL IT'S A POULTRY TALE OF FOLK DOWN ON THE FARM
DRAKE WHAT A GORGEOUS VISION THIS IS
L4 IT'S IDA, SHE'S MY MISSUS
SO FORGIVE ME IF I'M LAYING ON THE SWARM
SHE GOES IN FOR HEATED QUACKING
TO POINT OUT THE SKILLS I'M LACKING
ALL IT'S A POULTRY TALE OF FOLK DOWN ON THE FARM
COME ON DOWN AND DON'T BE STRANGERS
IN OUR DUCKYARD OF FREE-RANGERS
IT'S A POULTRY TALE OF FOLK DOWN ON THE FARM
MAUREEN: HERE WHERE WATERFOWL HAVE WADDLED
SM LITTLE CHICKS ARE MOLLY-CODDLED
HENRIETTA:FOR THE CAT WOULD LIKE TO DO THEM GRIEVOUS HARM
SM
PAULETTE: HE'S OUR ONLY SOURCE OF WORRY
SM
GISELLE: FEATHERS RARELY GET TO FLURRY
SM
FRIENDS: IT'S A POULTRY TALE OF FOLK DOWN ON THE FARM
CAT HA! HOW THEY FLATTER THEMSELVES
HONK! JR. Script
Page 2 of 38
HH1 I NEVER SHOW MUCH INTEREST IN THIS GROUP
I ADMIT I'M QUITE A GLUTTON
BUT THIS FEATHERED FORM OF MUTTON
WOULDN'T EVEN MAKE A PALATABLE SOUP
BUT WHEN THOSE LITTLE DUCKLINGS HATCH
THAT'S A FLAVOR YOU WON'T MATCH
THEY'RE DELICIOUS AND I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH
AS A FELON WHO IS FELINE YOU WILL SEE ME MAKE A
BEELINE
FOR THOSE TENDER LITTLE JUICY BALLS OF FLUFF
(MAUREEN NOTICES CAT AND THE FOLLOWING CACOPHONY OF
SQUAWKING PROMPTS THE CAT TO EXIT AGAIN)
MAUREEN BO-GER-DOC-A-DER, BO-GER-DOC-A-DER
BO-GER-DOC-A-DER, BO-GER-DOC-A-DER
DRAKE WAH-WA-UH! WAH! WAH! WAH!
IDA WAH! WAH!
FRIENDS: BO-GER-DOC-A-DER! BO-GER-DOC-A-DER!
TURKEY GOBBLE! GOBBLE!
ALL STAGE WAH, BUHR, GOBBLE (ETC.) HHUH!(sigh)
ALL IN OUR WATERFOWL REGATTA
THERE'S A MOORHEN FOND OF CHATTER
AND A MANDARIN WITH ORIENTAL CHARM
YOU'LL FIND EVERY GOOSE OR GANDER
HER GRACETHOUGH OF COURSE I'M RATHER GRANDER
ALL: IT'S A POULTRY TALE OF FOLK DOWN ON THE FARM
COME ON DOWN AND DON'T BE STRANGERS
IN OUR DUCKYARD OF FREE-RANGERS
IT'S A POULTRY TALE
IT'S A POULTRY TALE
IT'S A POULTRY TALE
OF FOLK DOWN ON THE FARM-A-ARM-A-ARM...B-GAD-HER!
(Everyone rushes off in a cloud of feathers as Ida cleans up her nest areaand Drake goes
down the steps)
IDA: Drake! Drake! It's no good paddling away, I've seen you. (Drake comes back
looking sheepishly at her) And it doesn't do for a duck to look sheepish, it confuses the
other animals.
DRAKE: How's it going, Ida? You still sitting? I dunno, it's alright for some.
IDA: Well if you like the sound of it so much why don't you take a turn on the nest?
And wipe your webs! I just did the floor this morning.
HONK! JR. Script
Page 3 of 38
DRAKE: Oh, Ida, I'd love to have a crack at sitting on the eggs for a bit, but you look so
comfortable up there it seems a shame to disturb you.
IDA: Huh, and what about that extension you promised to build on the nest? It's going
to be very cramped when the little ones arrive - especially with that one big egg in the
clutch, goodness knows what size that chick is going to be.
DRAKE: You know, I reckon that might be a Turkey's egg.
IDA: Oh, Drake! How would a Turkey egg get to be in my nest? Must be your side of
the family.
DRAKE: We'll just have to wait and see who she takes after, won't we, dear.
IDA(Acidly): Yes, dear.
DRAKE: Anyway, must fly. I promised the Rooster that I'd help him count his
chickens. (Start music JOY OF MOTHERHOOD) Shall I see you back here?
IDA: Well where else do you suppose I'm going to be? (Drake exits and Ida resumes
sitting on her eggs, resigned to her lot.)
L1 AS A DUCK
WHEN YOU'RE STUCK
SAT SITTING IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR NEST
THEN AT BEST YOU GET BORED
THERE GOES DRAKE
ON THE LAKE
I CAN SEE HIM THROUGH THE RUSHES
ALL THE TIME
FEELING I'M
JUST IGNORED
I DON'T PRETEND THAT THIS IS ALL HIS DOING
I'M A SUCKER FOR THE BILLING AND THE COOING
BUT WHEN YOU HEAR THAT PITTER PATTER
OF TINY FEET IT DOESN'T MATTER
HOW LONG I'VE HAD TO SIT HERE MINDING MY BROOD
THOSE LITTLE HEADS SO SOFT AND DOWNY
THEIR BABY BODS ALL GOLDEN BROWNY
THE BEAKS CONSTANTLY OPEN WAITING FOR FOOD
IT'S THE JOY OF MOTHERHOOD
THOSE LITTLE DUCKLINGS WALKING ROUND IN A LINE
I'LL DO WHAT ANY OTHER MOTHER WOULD
TO TRY TO DO MY BEST AT BRINGING UP MINE
HONK! JR. Script
Page 4 of 38
IT'S THE JOY OF MOTHERHOOD
THOSE LITTLE PERKS THAT MAKE IT ALL SEEM WORTHWHILE
I'LL DO WHAT ANY OTHER MOTHER WOULD
TO GET MY DUCKS DECKED OUT AND LIVING IN STYLE
(Ida's friends enter)
MAUREEN: Morning, Ida.
L3
IDA: Morning, Maureen, girls.
FRIENDS: morning, (etc)
MAUREEN: How is the mother-to-be?
IDA: She'd be better if the Father- who-was was better at being the Father-who-is. I
sometimes think I'd have been better off pairing with a decoy.
HENRIETTA: How much longer do you have to go?
L4
IDA: Well, by my reckoning they should be out by now. I went to all of my pre-natal
hatching classes, run by that self-satisfied Stork, and she said about half a month, but two
weeks is up.
GISELLE: Oh well, the best things come to those who wait.
HH2
PAULETTE: I don't know. Why do we put ourselves through it? Every Spring it's
exactly the same.
HH3
MAUREEN: But just think of the rewards - all those lovely little ducklings.
IDA: All those beaks to feed.
HENRIETTA: Waking you up at all hours.
PAULETTE: Attracting unwanted admirers...
ALL (hushed tones): like the Cat.
GISELLE: Why do we put ourselves through it?
MAUREEN: CAUSE WHEN YOU HEAR THAT DIBBLE DABBLE
L3 YOU'RE PROUD TO SAY 'HEY, THAT'S MY RABBLE'
THEN WATCH THEIR MAIDEN VOYAGE OUT FROM THE BANK
FRIENDS: LIKE CHAMPAGNE CORKS YOU'LL SEE THEM BOBBING
HH ACCOMPANIED BY MOTHER'S SOBBING
HONK! JR. Script
Page 5 of 38
RELIEVED, THANKS BE TO NATURE, NOBODY SANK
IDA: IT'S THE JOY...
L1
MAUREEN: Oh, prepare yourself, Ida
(chipping sounds as the eggs start to hatch in the nest. IDA does her breathing exercises
in preparation for the birth)
FRIENDS: IT'S THE JOY OF MOTHERHOOD
THOSE LITTLE PERKS THAT MAKE IT ALL SEEM WORTHWHILE
IDA: I'LL DO WHAT ANY OTHER MOTHER WOULD
TO GET MY DUCKS DECKED OUT AND LIVING IN STYLE
FRIENDS: TO GET THOSE DUCKS DECKED OUT AND LIVING
IDA: TO GET MY DUCKS DECKED OUT AND LIVING
TOGETHER: IN STYLE
IDA: My babies! (ducklings hop down from nest and look confused, not sure of which
one is their mom but they are pointed enthusiastically to IDA) Quack! Quack!
DUCKLINGS: Quack! Quack!
HENRIETTA: Oh, Ida. They're the loveliest little ducklings I have ever set my eyes on.
GISELLE: They're the image of their father.
IDA: Thanks! Speaking of Daddy, Maureen would you be a dear and try to find him for
me? He's probably making waves down at the local watering hole.
MAUREEN: Alright girls, let's go. (to ducklings) Auntie Maur-Maur is off now. I'll
see you later.
BEAKY: Auntie Maur-Maur? What a weird name.
WEBBY: It is so good to be out.
DOWNY: Yeah, I was getting scrambled inside that egg.
FLUFF: What a big world it is.
BILLY: Yeah, far out.
HONK! JR. Script
Page 6 of 38
IDA: Don't go thinking that this is the whole world! It stretches far beyond the other
side of the lake right into the Churchyard - though I've never been that far myself.
FEATHERS: Wicked - let's explore.
IDA: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. There are one or two nest rules before you
paddle off. Number one, no wet webbed-feet in the nest; Number two, you must feather
your own nest every morning; Number three, no quaking after sunset; Number four, no
plankton between meals; Number f...wait a minute, you're not all here.
BEAKY: Hey guys, there's going to be another member of the gang.
IDA: Oh, quack! And it's the big one.
BILLY: Look at the shell on that!
FLUFF: Egg-cellent!
WEBBY: How come she got such a big egg?
DOWNY: Yeah, we all got cramped into a regular shell, but that one got a queen-sized
Ostrich job.
FEATHERS: It's not fair, Mama..
DUCKLINGS: No Mama, it's not fair (commotion while IDA climbs back on the big
egg. Drake enters)
DRAKE: Hi, kids. I'm your Dad.
IDA: Take a good look at him because you probably won't see him that often. Well, true
to form you missed it, the pitter-patter of petit paddles.
DRAKE: Well I'm here now. O.K. kids, who's for a swim? (Drake gives each Duckling
a rubber ring with a Student Driver sign attached.) What's the matter, Ida? All that
sitting around taken it out of you?
IDA: There's still one to hatch, you dumb-cluck. The big one.
DRAKE: Let me see that egg again. It's definitely a Turkey. You'll never get it to go in
the water. Just leave it. (Turns to ducklings who are messing around) Alright, cut that
out! Ida come and teach the other ones to swim properly.
IDA: You teach the other ones to swim properly. I might as well sit for a little longer.
I've sat for so long a few days more won't make any difference.
HONK! JR. Script
Page 7 of 38
DRAKE: Whatever you say, dear. Come on ducklings. Last one to the lake's a rotten
egg! (The ducklings race off) Hey, wait for me! (Drake exits)
SCENE 1B (Cue DIFFERENT)
IDA WHAT A ROLE! ONLY GOOD FOR KEEPING EGG SHELLS WARM
L1 ON THE WHOLE THEY HAVE ALWAYS BEEN MORE UNIFORM
THIS ONE'S DIFFERENT
THIS ONE'S DIFFERENT FROM THE REST
I CAN'T BELIEVE A TURKEY'S EGG COULD FALL INTO MY NEST
IT'S JUST A FREAK OF NATURE
JUST A LARGER GRADE
OF ALL THE OTHER EGGS I'VE EVER LAID
THIS ONE'S DIFFERENT (Chipping or sawing sound)
BUT THERE'S DIFFERENT (Cracking sound)
AND THERE'S DIFFERENT
UGLY: Honk!
IDA: Oh, my word!
UGLY: Honk!
IDA: What's wrong with your quack? You're not like your brothers and sisters, they're..
(gesture) and.. (gesture)..different.
UGLY: Honk!
IDA: If I say "Butterball" does that bother you at all? No? What about "water"? How
would you like to go for a swim?
UGLY: I'd love to...Mama.
IDA: Thank heavens for that! (Hugging her) I knew you were one of mine. Now, your
father has taken the others off for their first swimming lesson. So how about you and me
doing the same, right here at the water's edge. Nothing too fancy mind you just the
basics to get you started. (Ida dips a web into the water) Ooooh..it's a bit nippy, but we'll
soon warm up. The important thing is not to be afraid of the water.
UGLY: I'm not afraid, Mama. Can we swim out to that island?
IDA: Good gracious, no. It's further than you think. Why, I haven't been out there since
your father and I were courting... and I didn't mean to go that far then! Now, are you
ready?
HONK! JR. Script
Page 8 of 38
UGLY: I'm ready.
IDA: Just do as I do and you should take to it like a d(looks at her)..you should take to it.
(Cue HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH)
Water Dancers on stage with fish hiding
IDA: HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH
L1 LIKE THE MOST HAPPY FELLA
WHILE DOWN BELOW EACH THIGH
APROPOS A PROPELLER
MUST KEEP PADDLING LIKE THE CLAPPERS
YOU KEEP PADDLING WITH YOUR FLAPPERS
WHILE SEEMING TO BE DREAMING AND CALM
UGLY: Like this?
IDA: That's the way!
BEND YOUR KNEES
NO SPLASHING PLEASE
UGLY: Sorry
IDA: AND STEADY WATCH THAT EDDY TO YOUR RIGHT
DANGER SIGN
UGLY: Danger sign?
IDA: THAT'S FISHING LINE
UGLY: Fishing line?
IDA: WHICH STRANGLES IF IT TANGLES YOU UP TIGHT
(aside) SHE'S A NATURAL IN A CLASS OF HER OWN
UGLY: THIS IS WONDERFUL I AM FEELING FULL GROWN
L2
IDA: LOOK AT YOU
YOU HAVE EVERY REASON TO
BOTH: HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH
IDA AS IF FREE FROM ALL TROUBLES
YOUR BACK STAYS NICE AND DRY
UGLY BUT MY BOTTOM'S IN BUBBLES
BOTH YOU KEEP PADDLING LIKE THE CLAPPERS
JUST KEEP PADDLING WTH YOUR FLAPPERS
WHILE SEEMING TO BE DREAMING AND CALM
IDA JUST BENEATH THE SURFACE
YOU MAY STRUGGLE TO GET BY
UGLY BUT NOTHING CAN DETER YOU
HONK! JR. Script
Page 9 of 38
BOTH IF YOU HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH
(Ida and Ugly get out of the water and she tries to make Ugly presentable)
UGLY: What did you mean when you said I'm not like my brothers and sisters? What is
"different"?
IDA: Well, dear...for one thing I'm sure you can swim much better than they can.
UGLY: Do you really think so? And what else?
IDA: You must try to remember, it's what's inside that matters, not what we look like.
SCENE 1C (Drake and Ducklings return from their swim)
HH1 Rodriel, Michael HH2 Ashley, Nicole HH3 Abegail, Alexis
BEAKY: What's Mama laid?
DRAKE: It's a sort of orange preserve often found on toast.
BEAKY(pointing at Ugly): No... what's Mama laid?
DRAKE: Oh my.. Ida... now listen very carefully, love. I want you to walk towards me
very slowly. No sudden moves.
IDA: What are you quaking about?
DRAKE: There's something behind you. Something...not very nice.
IDA: That's your daughter, dear.
DRAKE: Aaargh.. I've created a monster
IDA: Don't be ridiculous. She's just not your normal run-of-the-millpond duck, that's
all.
DRAKE: That's all! Ida, I have a reputation.
IDA: I know dear, and I wouldn't brag about it if I were you.
FLUFF: I'm scared.
DOWNY: Me, too.
DRAKE (through gritted bill): I tell you she's a turkey.
IDA: She is not a Turkey. She loves the water.
HONK! JR. Script
Page 10 of 38
DRAKE (He turns to Ugly and taunts her): Cranberry sauce!
IDA: See, she didn't even flinch! Now, I want you all to get spruced up. It is time to
meet the other members of the duckyard and be educated in the ways of the world.
Drake! Don't stare at her!
(Cue LOOK AT HER)
DUCKLINGS LOOK AT HER!
HH
IDA NOW THEN CHILDREN LET'S NOT MAKE A FUSS
L1
DUCKLINGS LOOK AT HER
DRAKE ARE YOU SURE SHE'S REALLY ONE OF US?
L4
IDA FAMILY LIKENESS ISN'T STRONG
STILL YOU WON'T POKE FUN
ALL OF YOU MUST GET ALONG
SHE'S A "SPECIAL" ONE
Come along all of you now and follow me. But stay close to me at all times or you may
get trodden on. And beware of the Cat!
(Waddle in a line to "school")
DUCKLINGS LOOK AT HER
WEBBY LEGS ARE BANDY AND THE KNEES ARE KNOCKED
HH1
DUCKLINGS LOOK AT HER
DOWNY DAD WAS OBVIOUSLY EGG-SHELL-SHOCKED
HH2
DUCKLINGS BET THE NEIGHBORS SCREAM AND HOWL
WHEN THEY SEE OUR BROOD
SHE'S THE FOULEST WATERFOWL
UGLY WHY ARE YOU SO RUDE?
L2
FEATHERS: Ooooh, touchy.
UGLY LOOK AT YOU, LOOK AT ME, WHAT'S IT MATTER?
BILLY: Isn't it obvious?
UGLY WHY DO I MAKE YOU ALL LAUGH AND SCOFF?
BEAKY: Have you seen your reflection?
UGLY WHY DON'T WE PLAY WITH THE FISHES?
BEAKY BECAUSE YOU'D SCARE THEM OFF
HONK! JR. Script
Page 11 of 38
HH3
DUCKLINGS(Laughing quack)
WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH
WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH
(Cat suddenly appears)
CAT: Now that's what I call a snack.
L3 LOOK AT HER
STILL A DUCKLING BUT THERE'S SO MUCH MORE
LOOK AT HER
FINEST CAT FOOD THAT I EVER SAW
BETTER STILL SHE WON'T BE MISSED
THEY THINK SHE'S A FLOP
MAYBE THEY'S LET ME ASSIST
GIVING HER THE CHOP
QUAILIE: Now, in a moment you will be presented to HER GRACE, the most
distinguished Duck on the lake. She was once paired with a Mandarin. And you will
notice she has a red band of cloth round her leg...(HER GRACE enters)...that is the
greatest distinction a duck can enjoy. It means that she is looked up to by both men and
bird. (Little Quails nod heads as they pass.)
IDA: Now, don't turn your toes in, just bow your head politely and say, "Quack!"
(The ducklings parade past HER GRACE in turn, each bowing and 'quacking' until it is
Ugly's turn)
UGLY: Honk!
(HER GRACE reacts with horror. Ugly is now clearly upset.)
DRAKE LOOK AT HER
L4 COME ON IDA TELL ME WHAT WENT WRONG?
LOOK AT HER
DID YOU LEAVE HER IN THE EGG TO LONG?
IDA SHE'S MY OWN AND I LOVE HER
L1 DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE YOU'RE TO BLAME
THIS DUCKYARD WOULD BE SO BORING
IF WE ALL LOOKED THE SAME
(There is much disagreement with this last remark, accompanied by clucks and quacks)
ALL LOOK AT HER
DUCKLINGS LOOK AT HER
ALL AND BE THANKFUL THAT SHE'S NOT YOUR KID
DUCKLINGS BUT WE'VE GOT HER AS ANOTHER
HONK! JR. Script
Page 12 of 38
ALL LOOK AT HER
DUCKLINGS LOOK AT HER
ALL BOUND TO GO THE WAY THE DODO DID
DUCKLINGS AND SHE'S WORSE THAN ANY OTHER
(Ida sends them a filthy look and they all look innocent)
ALL BODYWORK DESIGNED TO SHOCK
DUCKLINGS LA LA LA LA LA
ALL PROSPECTS PRETTY DIM
DUCKLINGS LA LA LA LA LA
ALL SHE SHOULD FORM A SOLO FLOCK
ALL CAT
LOOK AT HER
LOOK AT HER
LOOK AT YOU
YOU'LL AGREE LOOK AT HER LITTLE THING
ANYWHERE YOU LOOK WILL BE HER NECK JUST MADE TO WRING
LESS GRIM THAN A GLIMPSE
OF THIS WIMP OF WIMPS
LOOK AT HER
HER GRACE: Congratulations, Ida, they're delightful.
IDA: Thank you, your Grace.
HER GRACE(confidentially): Tell me, that one at the back, whatever happened there?
She's not exactly your classic Beatrix Potter duck is she?
IDA: I wish the others wouldn't pick on her so. She'll turn out alright as she gets older.
HER GRACE: Well the others are a triumph, my dear. I only wish I could have
produced a brood of my own this year.
IDA: I was so sorry to hear about that, your Grace, you must miss him terribly.
HER GRACE: He was a fine duck, the Mandarin, but alas he became crispy and
aromatic before his time. Still, life goes on. (looking around) Now, I understand Cootie
saw the children from the farmhouse throwing French bread into the water.
HONK! JR. Script
Page 13 of 38
(Cootie enters triumphantly wielding a large piece of French bread.)
COOTIE: Ta-rah! You have to try it - it's much better than the usual stuff-even the
crusts are nice.
IDA: Oh, yes, Cootie, it's delicious. Come along, children try this.
(All the birds gather around the bread. Ugly tries to get near the bread but she keeps
getting knocked back. She is pecked and bullied.)
HER GRACE: Make way for the Red-Banded Duck. (They make a path for her then
close in)
UGLY: Honk!
HER GRACE: Ida, you really are going to have to do something about that honk.
QUAILIE (pointing offstage): Oh look, croissants! (Everyone except Ugly exits in the
direction of the croissants)
BILLY: Get back.
(The Ducklings push Ugly back, leaving her alone on stage.)
UGLY: It's not fair. I'm hungry too. Why are you picking on me?
(CLOSE CURTAINS In this private moment, she tries to practice her 'Quack): Qu...onk!
Qu...onk!
(Cue DIFFERENT)
UGLY IF THEY KNEW JUST HOW DEARLY I WOULD LOVE TO QU..ONK
L2 BUT IT'S TRUE I'M A BIRD WHO SEEMS TO LACK THE KNACK
I'M JUST DIFFERENT
I'M JUST DIFFERENT FROM THE REST
AND WHO CAN BLAME THEM WANTING ME
TO FIND ANOTHER NEST
BUT DIFFERENT ISN'T NAUGHTY
DIFFERENT ISN'T BAD
SO WHY SHOULD BEING DIFFERENT MAKE ME SAD?
I'M JUST DIFFERENT
THEY'RE LIKE PEAS FROM THE SAME POD
NO WONDER THEY MAKE FUN OF ME
LIFE'S HARDER WHEN YOU'RE ODD
BUT DIFFERENT ISN'T SCARY
DIFFERENT IS NO THREAT
AND THOUGH I'M STILL THEIR SISTER THEY FORGET
HONK! JR. Script
Page 14 of 38
I DIDN'T CHOOSE TO LOOK THIS WAY
I DIDN'T WANT TO BE UNIQUE
I DON'T LIKE THESE GRUBBY FEATHERS
AND I HATE MY STUBBY BEAK
THERE'S A RUNT IN EVERY LITTER
ONE BLACK SHEEP IN EVERY FLOCK
BUT WHEN YOU KNOW IT'S YOU
SOMEHOW YOUR EGO TAKES A KNOCK
I'M JUST DIFFERENT
BUT I HAVE A SENSE OF PRIDE
MY LOOKS MAY WELL BE FUNNY
BUT I HURT THE SAME INSIDE
DIFFERENT ISN'T SPITEFUL, DIFFERENT ISN'T WRONG
SO WHY IS IT SO HARD TO GET ALONG?
I ONLY WANT TO GET ALONG
(Ducklings enter and taunt Ugly as if pretending they are going to play with her but run
away laughing at her)
DIFFERENT ISN'T HATEFUL
DIFFERENT COULD BE SWELL
DIFFERENT IS JUST...WELL
DIFFERENT
CAT: Hello, Ducky!
UGLY: Who are you?
CAT: I'm your friend.
UGLY: I haven't got any friends. Everyone hates me because I'm ugly.
CAT: Oh they are too, too, too cruel. I think you look delicious.
UGLY: What did you say?
CAT: I said poultry can be so malicious. Look at them guzzling all that bread.
UGLY: It's supposed to be really nice. It's French. (Cue French Ting)
CAT: Mmmm. A l'orange. Do you mean to say that they didn't let you have any?
UGLY: Not a crumb.
CAT: Well, that settles it then. Lunch is in...on me.
HONK! JR. Script
Page 15 of 38
UGLY: Do you mean it? You really are a friend.
CAT: Of course I am, now just follow me.
UGLY: I'd better tell my mother.
CAT: Oh no, you mustn't.
UGLY: I really think I should.
CAT: Listen. We won't be gone for long. What harm can it do? And you're hungry
aren't you?
UGLY: Yes, I am.
CAT: That makes two of us.
UGLY: Well...if you're sure.
CAT: I'm quite sure (Cat leads Ugly away. Others enter back in)
MAUREEN: It's Ida I feel sorry for. How she managed to lay the egg I'll never know.
HENRIETTA: Makes my eyes water just thinking about it.
TURKEY: Gobble, gobble..(Points after Ugly) I wouldn't use that to stuff a duvet with.
IDA (overhearing): Talking of stuffing, I don't suppose you will be quite so full of
yourself come Thanksgiving!
TURKEY: Ooh, I hate that word.
IDA (to all around her): There is nothing wrong with my daughter. She just looks a bit
different, that's all. I think that makes her someone rather special.
HER GRACE: Well said, Ida. I agree with you. And if I agree then everybody agrees. I
think an apology is in order from you all.
IDA: Wait a minute, where's she gone?
DRAKE: I thought she was with you.
IDA: She was, just a moment ago.
DRAKE: Well if she's got any sense she'll have gone to find a bag to put over her head.
HONK! JR. Script
Page 16 of 38
IDA: Drake, that's enough!
DRAKE: Calm down, she's probably just wandered back to the lake, you know how she
loves swimming.
IDA: Not without telling me she wouldn't (Panic) Where has she gone?
DRAKE: Oh, for goodness sake. Alright, Turkey you go that way and look along by the
milking shed; Girls go check around the Henhouse, Ida, we'll take the Ducklings down to
the lake.
HER GRACE: And I'll coordinate operations from the grain store.
(Amid various cries of 'Ugly' and with much fluffing of feathers and scratching of feet,
everyone searches for Ugly as they exit.)
SCENE 2 OPEN CURTAIN on Cat's Lair filled with various utensils and cooking
ingredients
CAT: Welcome to the kitty-cat snack shack. Fast food for famished felines. Now...let
me see.. (Cat starts looking through a recipe book)...Casserole of Duck, Duck with
Cherries, Peking Duck, ah, here we are, Duck a l'Orange.
UGLY: What are we having?
CAT: I'm having you for lunch.
UGLY: Yes, I know you are. I mean what are we going to eat?
CAT: Oh, I'll whip something up. A surprise.
UGLY: My mother must have been thinking of someone else. She told me to beware of
the Cat.
CAT: Ah, ha, ha...bless her. Mothers are all the same, for some reason they seem to
think it's part of their job description to stop us from having fun. Not my mother though,
oh no, she was different. Do you know what she used to say to me?
(Cue Play with your Food - Cat prepares ingredient for the Duck a l'Orange while Ugly
stays oblivious)
YOU CAN SCRATCH THE ANTIQUE FURNITURE
TO SHARPEN UP YOUR CLAWS
YOU CAN LACERATE THE CUSHIONS
IF YOU'RE EVER SHUT INDOORS
YOU CAN DIG UP ALL THE FLOWERS
FROM THE FRESHLY PLANTED BEDS
AND WITH ARTICLES OF CLOTHING
HONK! JR. Script
Page 17 of 38
IT'S OK TO PULL SOME THREADS
BUT I REMEMBER AS A KINDERGARTEN KITTEN
ONE PHRASE THAT LEFT ME SINGULARLY SMITTEN
YOU CAN PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD BEFORE YOU EAT IT
YOU CAN CHIVY YOUR CHOW BEFORE YOU CHEW
YOU CAN PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD YOU CAN'T BEAT IT
SO DUCKY LET ME PLAY WITH YOU
YOU CAN PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD BEFORE YOU BITE IT
YOU CAN TOY WITH YOUR TUCK BEFORE THE CRUNCH
YOU CAN PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD WHY FIGHT IT?
IT'S A CRAZY LITTLE GAME CALLED LUNCH
So tell me, Ducky, what would you like to play? It can be anything. I won't tell your
Mother.
UGLY: Anything?...Well...
I'D LIKE TO PADDLE IN THE PUDDLES
DABBLE IN THE MUD
TICKLE STICKLEBACKS IN THE SHALLOWS
THEN MAYBE IF THERE'S TIME
GO SLIDING IN THE SLIME
TO THE MARSH WHERE YOU FIND MARSHMALLOWS
I'LL GO AND SLAY A DRAGONFLY
WATCH WATERBOATMEN RACE
TO SAY THAT CATS ARE DANGEROUS
IS CLEARLY NOT THE CASE
CAT: I'D RATHER PLAY A GAME THAT'S SHARP AND WITTY
AND PREFERABLY WITH SOMETHING IN THE KITTY
(Ugly still oblivious of the Cat's intentions, hides as it playing hide-and-seek. The Cat
indulges her.)
Oh, you want to play hide-and-seek do you? Where are you? Am I getting warmer?
YOU CAN PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD BEFORE YOU EAT IT
YOU CAN CHIVVY YOUR CHOW BEFORE YOU CHEW
YOU CAN PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD YOU CAN'T BEAT IT
SO DUCKY DUCKY DUCKY DUCKY DUCKY DUCKYDUCKY
DUCKY DUCKY LET ME PLAY WITH YOU
YOU CAN PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD BEFORE YOU BITE IT
YOU CAN TOY WITH YOUR TUCK BEFORE THE CRUNCH
YOU CAN PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD WHY FIGHT IF
IT'S A CRAZY LITTLE GAME...
Do you like oranges?
UGLY: I don't know, I've never tried one.
HONK! JR. Script
Page 18 of 38
CAT: Well suck on this.
(Cat slaps a slice of orange into Ugly's mouth)
IT'S A CRAZY LITTLE GAME CALLED LUNCH
(Offstage we her the sound of children playing)
UGLY: What's that noise?
CAT: Salivating
UGLY: It's coming from outside.
CAT: Oh that, it's just those wretched people from the farm playing ball.
UGLY: What are people?
CAT: What are people? Bad news that's what people are. Just think yourself lucky,
Ducky, that I am going to spare you from ever having to encounter them.
(The Cat makes as if to sever one of Ugly's wings with a cleaver)
BOY'S VOICE: Duck!
CAT: Yes I know it's a ruddy duck!
GIRL'S VOICE: Duck?
(There's the sound of shattering window as a baseball hits the Cat on the back of the
head.)
CAT: Goose! Struck out by a fowl ball.
(The Cat collapses and falls, unconscious. Ugly doesn't know what to do.)
GIRL'S VOICE: You broke the window.
BOY'S VOICE: The ball's gone inside.
UGLY: Oh no, they're coming in. That's a good idea, you hide in there until the heat is
off. I'll try to find my own way back to the duckyard. Perhaps we can have lunch some
other time. Goodbye. I better go out this way. (CURTAIN CLOSE)
Now was it right at the Cow shed and turn left to the Hen House or.. oh no, I'm sure it
was left, right? (Dog barks scaring her the other way as lights fade)
Oh dear, I think I'm lost.
SCENE 3 In front of Curtain
BIRDIE: We will set up there. The angle is better. (Places watchers behind the caution
tape as Jaybird sets up.) All right Maggie Pie, and rolling. (Jaybird holds fingers to
count down.)
HONK! JR. Script
Page 19 of 38
MAGGIE PIE: So tell me, Ida, it has been a week now since your daughter went
missing. How are you bearing up? Can you manage a tear for the camera?
IDA: Wh..what?
DRAKE(rushing forward to explain): This, dear, is Maggie Pie from "America's Most
Feathered". They're doing a feature. Now, which do you think is my best side?
MAGGIE PIE(ignoring Drake): Ida, there have been rumors of farmyard bullying - do
you believe your daughter was abducted, or is it possible that she ran away to escape her
persecutors?
IDA: What are you saying?
MAGGIE PIE : That's good. I'll buy that. (to Birdie)Defensive yet emotional... Just a
hint of anger. I'm filling up here.
DRAKE: What about me? Does no one care about what I think?
MAGGIE PIE: Sorry, Sir, coming to the end of transmission. (Into camera) I'm going
to leave the final word with Ida, just in case her daughter is out there watching, but for
now this is Maggie Pie for "America's Most Feathered" saying that if you see anything
suspicious - from rowdy Jay birds to lost Ducklings - the chicks on the switchboard are
waiting to take your call. Alright, Ida, it's all yours...
(Magpie moves over to the crowd and Ida sings into the camera. Cue EVERY TEAR)
IDA: EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND I EXPECT YOU TO APPEAR
EVERYONE MAY CALL MY NAME
BUT IT'S YOUR VOICE THAT I HEAR
EVERY MOMENT THAT YOU'RE GONE
IS A MOMENT DARK AND GREY
EVERY TEAR A MOTHER CRIES IS A DREAM
THAT'S WASHED AWAY
(To Jaybird) Get away from me. Go on, all of you! (Everyone exits)
EVERY DAY WILL SEEM TO BE MORE EMPTY THAN THE LAST
EVERYWHERE THE SUN ONCE SHONE
A SHADOW HAS BEEN CAST
EVERY MOMENT THAT YOU'RE GONE
IS A MOMENT DARK AND GREY
EVERY TEAR A MOTHER CRIES IS A DREAM
THAT'S WASHED AWAY
(Maureen enters with Ida's suitcase and gives Ida a hug. Drake and ducklings hurry on.)
DRAKE: But Ida, you can't just leave me with the others.
HONK! JR. Script
Page 20 of 38
IDA: You'll manage, Drake. My mind is made up.
DRAKE: But you're wasting your time, you know you are. Apart from which it's
dangerous to go wandering off beyond the yard at this time of year.
IDA: I won't be satisfied until I find the truth. Try to understand, a mother knows.
DRAKE: Well here, you'd better take the cell phone.
IDA: EVERY MOMENT SEEMS AN HOUR
EVERY HOUR LASTS A DAY
EVERY TEAR A MOTHER CRIES IS A DREAM
THAT'S WASHED AWAY
(The ducklings all hug Ida and sadly line up after their father)
EVERY TEAR A MOTHER CRIES IS A DREAM THAT'S WASHED AWAY
SCENE 4 Cat tails
GREYLAG: Now where have they got to? Shabby flock. I do wish they would keep up.
No discipline, that's the trouble with the goslings of today.
DOT: They're probably tired, dear. We have been marching for an awfully long time.
GREYLAG: Poppycock. Would you prefer that we fly? With a shoot on the marsh? I
think not my sweet. This way.
UGLY(stepping out from hiding): Excuse me. I wonder if you could help.
GREYLAG: Keep walking, dear. Eyes front. U.F.O. at four o'clock.
UGLY: You see I'm lost.
GREYLAG: No excuse for bad navigation. A bird who gets off his flight path doesn't
deserve his wings, that' what I always say isn't it, dear?
DOT(with feeling): Always, dear.
UGLY: But I can't even fly yet. I've got lost on foot.
GREYLAG: Bah! Infantry eh? Messy business.
DOT: She's only a youngster. Maybe we should direct her. (Remembering) I mean give
her her marching orders.
HONK! JR. Script
Page 21 of 38
GREYLAG: Bah! Very well. We're Geese, migrants, you know, birds of passage. Run
a tight fleet. Wouldn't do for us to lose our way, what?
DOT: Where were you trying to get to?
UGLY: Back to my Mother, on the lake. I think it must be in that direction. I saw some
ducks flying over a few minutes ago.
GREYLAG: Well if you did it was probably their last flying mission, what?
UGLY: What do you mean?
DOT: There's a shoot on the marsh, dear. It's very dangerous.
UGLY: What is a shoot?
DOT: Well, it's a people sport. One group of men move through the marsh scaring
ducks into the air, while a second group, with guns, shoot them back out of the air again.
UGLY: The Cat warned me about people.
GREYLAG: The Cat?
UGLY: Yes, you see I went off with this Cat.
DOT: Didn't your Mother tell you how dangerous a Cat is?
UGLY: Well yes she did but the Cat said she was my friend.
DOT: You don't want friends like that, dear. Your Mother was right to warn you.
UGLY: She was? (Gun dogs bark nearby. Ugly is frightened)
GREYLAG: Gun dogs. They must be starting the shoot again. Time for maneuvers. I
had hoped it wouldn't come to this, but I have no option. Alright, at ease. (Ugly and Dot
move to one side) Company fall in! (The motley squadron of geese arrive. Barnacles,
Pink Foot and Snowy literally fall on to the stage.) I didn't mean literally. Alright, eyes
front. Now, we are about to take part in an exercise, the likes of which we have not faced
before. Our task is one of reconnaissance and reunification.
DOT(Explaining to the confused Squadron): This duckling's lost her Mom, bless her,
and we're going to find her.
GREYLAG: You are a fine body of Geese and I know you will give of your best. Good
luck all. (He salutes them.)
HONK! JR. Script
Page 22 of 38
(Cue WILD Goose Chase)
GREYLAG WE'RE OFF ON A WILD GOOSE CHASE
WE WILL BE NO STRANGER TO DANGER
THE SQUADRON WILL SHOW NO FEAR
DOT WE'RE OFF AND NO MATTER WHERE WE ROAM
ALTHOUGH THE MIND BOGGLES
THIS GAGGLE IN GOGGLES IS SURE TO FIND YOUR HOME
GREYLAG RUNWAY'S CLEAR
PREPARE FOR TAKE OFF DEAR
WE MUST PLAY OUR PART
DOT HARK AT HIM
I FEAR HIS CABIN LIGHTS ARE RATHER DIM
GREYLAG CHOCKS AWAY OUR AIR DISPLAY MUST START
GEESE WE'RE OFF ON A WILD GOOSE CHASE
AND OUR SIMPLE MISSION
POSITION THE WHEREABOUTS OF YOUR FARM
WE'RE OFF AND UNLESS WE'RE BLOWN INTO KINGDOM COME
WE WON'T BE BACK UNTIL WE'VE FOUND YOUR MUM

TEY WON!!!!!!! THE STEELERS WON THE SUPERBOWL!!!!!!!!!!!